Recently, I was called out on Twitter for toxic positivity. I was a little surprised and a lot embarrassed, but more than that, I was curious. I’ve been seeing the term “toxic positivity” a lot these days and have been actively working to not appear toxically positive.
Or at least I thought I was. 😳
There was only one thing for me to do (No Inner Saboteur, deleting my Twitter account was not an option), and that was to do some research and find the data.
What is an actual definition of “toxic positivity?”
After some research, eye rolling, deep breaths, and cringing, I was able to find a definition of toxic positivity that made sense.
“Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset…And while there are benefits to being an optimist and engaging in positive thinking, toxic positivity instead rejects difficult emotions in favor of a cheerful, often falsely positive, facade…Toxic positivity takes positive thinking to an overgeneralized extreme.”
-Verywellmind
That definition offers an important distinction regarding toxic positivity and healthy positivity. Toxic positivity is the idea that a “positive mindset” is the be all, end all. The holy grail. The light at the end of the tunnel. A “good mood” will get your bills paid on time, kids asleep at an early hour, restorative massage at the end of the night, and 9 blissful hours of sleep. As if.
That is not my outlook, nor the intent of my content. My content emphasizes keeping your focus on positivity when you can. That is not to say you won’t have negative feelings – I address those as well – but to have the perspective to keep them from taking over. “When you can” is also an important part of that, because sometimes it’s not possible to focus on “good vibes ONLY.”
I am a strong believer in the power of SHIFTING your mindset. Your mindset is one of the few things you CAN control and a positive mindset is going to get you much further than a negative one.
I also believe that:
- The law of attraction works…to some degree. If you’re energetically up, you’ll receive high energy back. If you’re energetically down, you’ll receive low energy back. This does not mean smile at all costs, no matter what. It means to vibe as high as you can, when you can.
- If you shout out that the sky is falling often enough, it will eventually fall. When you are constantly speaking negativity, reading negativity, and listening to negativity…all of that negativity will be all you know. You aren’t causing it, it’s not your fault, but you could take steps away from it in some areas of your life and let in some sunshine.
- A smile feels better than a frown. I’m not telling you to ‘buck up buttercup’, I am just saying a smile physically feels better for ME than a frown. A laugh feels better than a cry.
Is it toxic positivity or something else?
If you read any of those bullets above and are calling them toxic positivity, this is where I would wonder if you’re using that term as a “Get Out Of Jail Free” card to stay in a fixed mindset. To keep you stuck. To keep you protected from what may or may not be out there.
Here me out (and again, I’m JUST speaking about the bullets on this page, not all the things)…
I refer to it as your “Get Out Of Jail Free” card because nothing I said indicated having a “positive” (or any) mindset being the solution to your problems. I would wonder how you benefited from shutting down the concepts above.
What are you protecting?
What is holding you back?
Would your fear of failure be finally put to rest when you succeed?
Or maybe you still feel like what I’ve shared feels like toxic positivity based on your definition. You tell me! Let me know in the comments, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
The moral of this story is that I choose to be in a growth mindset as much as I can, and a big part of that is learning. I needed to do the work and learn more about toxic positivity to ensure I wasn’t out there doing more harm than good. And since we’re being honest, when I looked through my posts, some definitely where shining examples of toxic positivity. From this research, I was able to better understand what toxic positivity is and what it is not; a definition I could stand behind and check my content against. Also, I was reminded that people see things differently and being open to their interpretations helps us continue to learn and grow.
If you’re curious about my offending Twitter post, click here to read the exchange.
Want more healthy positivity in your life? Here are some resources for you…
- Follow me on Instagram for daily motivation, inspiration, and a healthy smattering of good vibes.
- Go “all in” with MORE healthy positivity by starting a daily affirmation practice. Sign up here for 33 days of (positive) affirmations delivered right to your inbox.
- Shine some healthy positivity on yourself and cultivate a self-love mindset. Download this eBook with 5 tips to master your self-love mindset.